


Day Ten: Wearing Animal Ears (AKA Turn off the Sun, PLEASE!!!!)

by a_xmasmurder



Series: 30 Days of OTP: Bond/Q [10]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types, Skyfall (2012) - Fandom
Genre: 30 Day OTP Challenge, And can kill your liver, Breakfast, Buckets, Drinking waaaaay too much, Friendship, Gen, James Bond: Friendship is Magic, M/M, Part Two: The Hangover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-12
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 15:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,252
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/800064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_xmasmurder/pseuds/a_xmasmurder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The day after the pub date. They are all suffering except for Bill. This should be interesting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day Ten: Wearing Animal Ears (AKA Turn off the Sun, PLEASE!!!!)

**Author's Note:**

> Haahahahahaaaaaa... *slinks away* Hangovers suck. So do going to work with a hangover. When you have a meeting. You will do anything to make it better.

“Oh....no. No, no no, it's bad, sooooo bad, turn that infernal racket off before I murder someone.” Q burrowed further under the fluffy comforter on the bed and made an weak attempt at hissing.

Beside him, James stuck out a naked foot and kicked the alarm clock to the floor. His voice came from the foot of the bed. “There. Hush now. No more loud noises.”

Q frowned into the pillow. “Why are you upside down?”

“Shhhh. Quiet.”

The young man was willing to do that, because someone had been using his head as a steel drum, and were currently using it as a gong. He swallowed, nearly gagging on the awful taste in his mouth. “What the fuck happened to my tongue? Ow.” He curled in on himself and closed his eyes again. “Ow, James.”

“Are you incapable of keeping your mouth closed? Hush.” A floppy hand on his calf normally would make Q purr, but right now his skin felt wrong on his body and his stomach was doing something that wasn’t making him very happy.

“ _Marrrghfuck_.”

Q yelped, his body jerking in a very not good way that made his stomach clench. Bond shifted at the end of the bed and groaned. “Alec? Tell me that is you and not someone we managed to drag home with us.”

“I think it's me. I'm not sure, because my whole body feels wrong. Who the hell played football with my fucking skull?” A hand snaked up from the floor on Bond’s side, grabbing his shoulder with cold fingers. “And why did you hit me with the clock, you complete and utter prick?”

“Why are you on the floor, anyway?” James poked his head out from under the comforter to look at his friend and recoiled, growling unhappily at the brightness in the room. “Who turned on the floodlights?”

“That would have been Bill, and it’s not floodlights, it’s sunshine. He’s making a full breakfast for everyone, since he managed to make it home last night. Something we didn't manage very well.”

Q curled into himself, feeling very ill. “Don’t wanna. Turn it off.”

Bond snorted. “We didn’t? Alright, no, that's not working.” He threw an arm over his eyes and groaned. “Ow. You can’t turn off the sun, Q.”

“No...we are not home. We failed at the main mission of picking up women and getting our brains fucked out last night, and we even failed at getting ourselves to one of our flats, which is something we normally succeed at. So either we got so spectacularly, brilliantly stoned that we couldn't say our names right, or someone else was in charge of the GPS.” Alec sat up, and crawled up and over Bond, who slapped at him, so he could reach Q. “Q, bucket’s in front of the dresser. Eve left it for you before she disappeared into the bathroom.”

“Oh, thank whichever deity was passing over at the time...” Q thought about slithering out of the covers, but his head throbbed at him _and just fuck that noise._ He burrowed further into the bank of white, willing his head to stop being such a cunt and just turn into one of these lovely down-filled pillows, please and thank you. “Noooooo, I am not moving, turn the world off, make it stop. There has to be a lever for that sort of thing.”

Alec dropped his head into one hand and rubbed Q’s back soothingly with the other. “It’s alright.”

“Where are we then?” Bond pushed himself to an upright sitting position, finally registering that these weren’t actually his covers. His were burgundy this week. “Not my bed, obviously.”

“Whose bed am I in?” the pillow asked.

“Do you people have to be so loud?” Eve padded out of the bathroom, wrapped in comfy pyjamas and a toweling robe. “It’s my place. The only address I could remember last night, and the one that I gave the cabbie.”

Bond groaned again. “Trying not to be loud, Eve. We took a cab?”

The pillow named Q puffed up. “I don't remember a cab. Did anyone other than James try to kiss me?”

“You and Eve were snogging in the cab, if I recall.” Bill Tanner walked in and threw open the curtains that covered the east facing bay windows. Bright morning light invaded the tomb of the damned. Three hung over, very upset agents yelled and growled at the man, and one fluffed up pillow hissed and cried pitifully. “I’ve got food and water out there. Everyone up. We’ve got a meeting in -” the Chief of Staff flipped his wrist over to look at his watch - “three hours, and I promised M I’d get you all there in one piece.” He stared at James, who glared at him with one eye. “More or less.”

“Oh, eff." Q groaned. "Sorry I snogged you, Eve.”

“It’s fine. You are a fucking stunning kisser, James got a show, and he’s not mad at either one of us." She turned to him. "Are you?”

James sighed happily at the memory, as sparse and spotty as it was. “Hell no. And hands stayed above the belt, I believe.”

“Good. That’s...good. Argh, _blegh_.” The pillow lowered, and a shape moved beneath the covers. “Bill, you are an evil man, more evil than me. Can’t you just - “ The covers grew an arm and flailed it at the man “- cancel the fucking thing?”

“No.”

"Can we call in dead?"

"Biological detection technology in the tracker chips in your arms. You designed them."

"What the fuck was I thinking." Q groaned again. "Take a sick day?"

"Nope."

“Well, it was worth a try.” Q rolled out of the bed, onto the floor, and pushed himself to his feet. “And I’m amazed I managed that without being sick.” He toddled towards the bathroom. “Someone bring me something remotely useful to wear to a meeting, please?” His clothing hung, wrinkled and limp, off his frame.

“Done and done." Tanner glanced at his mobile. "I had a junior agent go to your flats and get clothing and toiletries for you.”

James and Alec nodded, and Q stuck his head back out. “Nope, I’m using Eve’s honey-scented things.”

Eve's head whipped - slowly - “You are not.”

“Am. So. I’m going to smell like honey, damn it, and everyone's dealing with it.” The door shut, and the shower turned on a minute later.

“I shouldn't be overjoyed that, for once, I’m still clothed.” Alec plucked at his shirt. “As well as everyone else. But I am. Because if we weren’t...”

James and Eve smirked at the same time. “That would have been one _hell_ of a night.” They looked at each other and broke into soft laughter.

Tanner shook his head and headed back to the coffee machine in the kitchen. “I’ve got both the drip and the espresso machine going, so I can shove as much caffeine as possible into you people so you are halfway to human once we hit that meeting.”

“That’s a good thing, actually.” Bond levered himself to his feet and cracked his neck, ignoring the sour feeling in his stomach, then followed. “Q usually has some fluffed up drink with eight shots of espresso in it just to wake up.” _And all of a sudden, it is normal to be talking about Q like we live together and are together. ‘Together’ together. This feels...good. Really, really good._ The warm sensations radiating from every fiber of his being seem to fight away the general ugh of his hangover. Was he even allowed to feel this way? He didn’t care anymore. He padded out into the kitchen and grabbed a cinnamon roll before realising his grievous error in judgement.

He hadn’t followed Q into the shower.

“Oh, I am not on the ball this morning.” He took the roll and made a beeline to the bathroom.

********  
  
  
  


****

Q, much less ill than when he woke up, didn't take a fluffed up drink with eight shots of espresso. He took a soup mug and filled it with straight espresso and coffee, upended half the sugar bowl into it, and dropped two ice cubes into the slurry, then upended half of it while checking his tablet. Bond watched as he and Bill got to work with their departments and Eve fixed her makeup in the toaster reflection while on the phone with M. 

"They work harder than anyone else in this fucking line of work, don't they?" Alec shoved a plate of eggs and bacon into his hands, and swallowed his first coffee of the day.

"Yes, they do." James smiled. "Wouldn't work with anyone else, really."

It was at Eve’s kitchen table, with all attending, that the true horrors of the previous night (and day, even) came to light. Story after story of what they remembered, and didn't remember, laid themselves on the table as food was shoveled into mouths, antacids were popped, and coffee was poured.

“You did WHAT?” Q nearly choked on his scrambled eggs and had to set his tablet down before he dropped it.

“Mr. Treveylan, I did no such thing.” Eve sounded very miffed as she texted, not even giving Alec her full attention.

“Oh. You did.” James reached around the hacker folded into his lap and scooped up a spoonful of beans. “It was beautiful, very tastefully done.”

She stared at him. “How the hell can dancing on a bar to ‘Toxic’ be done tastefully, Bond?”

He held up his hand and ticked off on his fingers. “One - clothes stayed on. Two - you didn’t attempt to sing along with the song while dancing. Three - it didn’t turn into a lap dance, though Alec over there was just about gagging for one.”

“Oi!” The man in question threw a jelly packet at Bond. “Fuck off.”

“And finally, four - it was you dancing.”

“That should be the only reason, James.” Q stabbed his blood sausage and stuck it into his mouth. “And this is brilliant. I feel slightly human. Though I'm killing half my team when we get there, because they still haven't broken that encryption.”

Alec laughed and drained the last of his coffee. “You should feel better, considering the sounds coming from the shower earlier.”

Q turned a very flattering shade of rose, and James licked his ear, making him squeak.

“Speaking of which, I took the opportunity to do some shopping this morning before I got here, per our agreement, Quartermaster.” Tanner held up a bag, suddenly very serious.

All noise halted. Q stared at the bag, his mind racing to try to remember. “An agreement, Mr. Tanner?”

“Yes. You see, we had a bet.”

James closed his eyes. “A bet. You made a bet. With Bill.”

“Um.” Q set his fork down. “Apparently.” He took a breath. “What was this bet?”

“You said that you’d have it off with Mr. Bond in Eve’s tub before the week was out, and I said it wouldn’t happen because Eve would shoot you both.”

“Ohmygod.” The words came out in a rush as Q dropped his aching head into his hands. “I think I remember this.”

“And the bet was, that if you won, everyone in Q branch would wear kitten ears to work for a week, just to spite the dress code - and indirectly, me. If I won, you would have to wear a freshly pressed suit to work every day for a month.”

James could feel Q shaking with suppressed laughter.

Alec got off the bar stool he was sitting on and turned up the iPod dock next to the microwave. “It’s playing our song, guys.” He started humming along as he filled his plate with more eggs and bacon.

In the background, Lynyrd Skynyrd played on as Tanner pulled out the multi-coloured ears, some with little barrettes, some attached to a head band. “I only ask one thing, since you so obviously won this one...”

“Wait, hold on.” Q held up his hand. “How did you know I was going to win?”

“Why are we even betting on them fucking in my tub?” Eve leaned forward. “ _When_ did they fuck in my tub?”

Q winced. “About an hour ago?”

“Oh my God.” Eve threw a spoon at the hacker, and smacked Bond hard on the shoulder. “Really? That wasn’t just an enthusiastic snog?"

James picked out two pair of loose ears, grey and black. “At least these things should match our hair.” He clipped the black ones onto Q’s head, then did the same with the grey ones - to his own head.

“Wasn’t a stretch of the imagination.” Tanner smiled. “And the thing I was going to ask? Don’t have to anymore. Bond did it anyway.”

Q turned and laughed. “Bond, you look ridiculous like that!”

“And you look adorable.”

“I’ve taken the liberty of grabbing tails, too.”

Bond and Q stared at Bill.

“What?” He shrugged. “They came together, and they were on sale.”

Q smiled up at James. “Want to?”

“As long as we can wear them to the meeting.”

Tanner held up a finger to object, but Alec cut in. “Yes. Do it, and I’ll wear the hot pink ears.”

Eve smiled. “I call the leopard print ones.”

Tanner sighed. “Fine. I only got enough for us, anyway.” He pulled out the last pair, brown fuzzy things attached to the black headband. “I’ll make a complete arse out of myself, too.”

They all laughed, and Q clutched his head. “Ow."

****  
  



End file.
